И опять английский

[Nicci]

За то что вчера отлынивала, сегодня все в двойном размере.

1

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen", said the shoplifter, "I know you don`t want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch and we forget about this?"
The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"

2

"But why," demanded the puzzled judje of the burglar standing before, "did you break into the same store three nights running?"
"Well, Judje, it`s like this," was the reply. "I picked out a dress for my wife and i had to change it twice."

3

On a rural road a state trooper plled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"
To which the farmer replied, "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"

4. Мой самый нежно любимый. Именно в его концовке я смогла оценить прелесть английского языка.

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.
Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. Whan`s the problem?"
"My mother died in August", he said, "and left me $25000."
"Gee, that`s tough," he replied.
"Then in Septenber," the friend continued, "My farther died, leaving me $90000."
"Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you`re depressed."
"And last month my aunt died, and left me $15000."
"Three close family members lost in three months? How sad."
"Then this month," continued the friend, "absolutely nothing!"

Уф, на работе набирать английский текст намного удобнее, хотя клавиатуры не сильно различаются

Еще из хорошего: РЕМОНТ ЗАКОНЧИЛСЯ
После сегодняшнего отмывания полов на кухне, осталось только дождаться самой кухни)
И я больше не увижу нашего работника, йес.

@темы: jokes, Курс начинающего ремонтника